Crossroads

I guess the Britney Spears song doesn't apply to me anymore. The one that goes "I'm not a girl. Not yet a woman." But then again, never really was much of a Britney fan, so life goes on for me.

29. My last year being in my 20's. I don't know what 30 is supposed to feel like, I guess this is it. Nothing is as simple as it used to be before. From the time you wake up, 'til the last thoughts at night, nothing is as it looks anymore. I always wished for more responsibility. Owning my own business. Then here I am, without me knowing. Taking care of not only a business but a legacy. Of people who have been here longer than my own lifetime. Responsible for their welfare. What I do affects them and their families. How did I get to this point, anyway? It just zipped by me. One minute I'm just a glorified assistant. Next, I'm where I am now.

One thing about getting older is that life is no longer about easy choices. There are crossroads everywhere. How you were raised and how you learned throughout your lifetime so far comes into play now more than ever. It demands sacrifices as well. Sacrifices that tears some dreams and builds new ones. But all the same it hurts to no end but gives you such peace and fulfillment when you made the right steps.

More than ever God has become more real in my life. I cannot even begin to describe it. How he protects me from my own stupidity. Opens up doors that I never knew I needed to be opened. Protects me from long-term hits. But at the same time, requires my loyalty and obedience every single day even if it means the prolonged answer of a heart-breaking prayer or what turns out to be an unanswered one. He has His plans and His purposes. I cling tightly even more so to the God of my life. I want to cling on to the promises of hope and miracles. I need it. I don't deserve it. But He knows my heart. I pray for an Abraham-Isaac moment.

So here I am, 29. I wonder what this year has in store for me. I'm just so grateful for all the things God has done in my life. No words can ever express. I won't even try to.

God whispers

"I waited patiently for God to help me; then he listened and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the bog and mire, and set my feet on a hard, firm path and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, of praises to our God. Now many will hear of the glorious things he did for me, and stand in awe before the Lord, and put their trust in Him. Many blessings are given to those who trust the Lord, and have no confidence in those who are proud, or who trust in idols."

- Psalms 40:1-4

:(

what a way to start my week. feeling :( :( :( :( :( ....

Some birthday wishes

I did this for Christmas, why not on my birthday?

1) a genuine surprise that will move me to tears. nothing showy or that requires other people to be around. i hate those kinds of surprises.

2) a bouquet of flowers i actually like. Ex. white roses, tulips or orchids. My dad thinks the itsie bitsie roses sold by the cathedral are nice. I do know that its Badong, his driver who buys it anyway so not much for taste.

3) wanna spend my day with the people i love. simple and casual. no running around taking care of mostly the people i was forced to invite. i didn't get to eat last year! imagine! my own birthday and i had to ask other people there how was the food.

4) a significant step forward into the hope that i cling to. a chance to pursue a dream. vague naman! haha pero dira lang asta a :D

5) a Macbook. babaw wish! hehehe

Sentimental Moment

In a week's time, this will be my last year in my twenties. The next time will be my entrance into my 30s. Still so hard to believe. Strange how I feel like I'm in my early 20s. Was a bit surprised to notice how more mature my hands looked while watching tv this afternoon. Normally, my hands are a common sight, hence, I don't really monitor its every transition. But it just came to me while passively switching the channel. So this is what my hands are supposed to look like at this age.

All my life I planned to be married when I turned 27. I didn't celebrate my 27th birthday at all. Was in a sad state then, and I don't regret it now at hindsight. I guess, it was meant for me to go through at that particular moment in my life. I learned so much. 2 years later, I am in a happily different but more complex place. But with more "endurance" so to speak.

My friends are 30 now. Not much has changed really. 30 seemed to be so distant then. I expected something significant of a change, but I guess it just slid right into it without me noticing as much.

There are things I wish I was able to do earlier. I guess I got my courage in the latter stage of my twenties. But, I suppose, better late than never.

Well then, here I am. Being what I should be. Holding on ever more tightly to the hope that I claim. The only constant will be my Savior. My Champion. In that I rest.

Frienemy

Can you actually be a friend to someone who is also your enemy? Not in a plastic sort of way. I mean, like in the field of business. That person means so much to you on and off work time and can do so much more for you, professionally, but at the same time, can do you damage all for the sake of business.

Its a blessing and a curse all rolled into one. But what to do about it? Its certainly not something either one of us is willing to give up. It is also definitely one of the reasons that keeps us together at the same time. But how can you be helping someone who also caters to the exact same market and customers?

Thank God I don't have that problem anywhere else in my life. Just in business. But how can you make it not personal when it is the source of your livelihood. It didn't used to be personal because I was also doing other things at the same time. But the reality has dawned that this is basically my main source of financial security.

On a lighter note, who made this concept popular again? One of those people on tv, I think, most likely. Hmmm...

Need more slow mo time

Ever find yourself rushing when there is nothing to rush about? I often find myself speeding things up and pause and remember, I have all the time I need right now. So why not take my time? This often happens to me while I'm taking a shower at night. My pace is that of how I am in the morning, getting ready for work or church. I got so used to it that it just becomes automatic. So what about the other things I do during the day? It is such a funny thought to find myself in. I have actually trained myself to rush. Go figure! No wonder I feel so tired most of the time because I try to do so many things at the same time when the only one pressuring me to do them quickly is myself.

Wish we all had a pause button somewhere and a slow mo feature.

Fun day/ Independence Day

It's a holiday! So with most of my guys over in Boracay, the Finance, Accounting Department, along with their families and the basketball team were not going to be left behind. It was a day of sun, fun and lotsa swimming at the Stadium's pool.

I was having fun with the food. Period. Not to mention it is Nieva's birthday as well. Seeing them all in a different environment, having this day to unwind, marking the end of a very eventful and successful summer.

jin2 and john lloyd (bongga the name! yes, as in Cruz)

Lerry and John Lloyd with the bday girl, Nieva.

pretty Dana

the brains of the operation

the bilbils of the operation

view of the pool. glad we at least have this.

jeffrey, the stand-in dad for the day

Lesi is also in town for a couple of days. Picked her up at 3:30, supposedly 3pm. My bad. Hard to get away from all the food and talk going on.

It never ceases to amaze me how so many things have changed, Lesi included. Here we were, talking about life, career and intrigues over coffee, iced tea, pasta and fish fillets. I still remember having her on my lap, playing with Barbie dolls. Unbelievable! Really hope and pray for her and her plans in the coming months.

Miracle 1, 2 & 3

June has barely begun but it has proven to be a month of miracles. Thank God for all these wonderful blessings! Over and above all that has been expected. God is sooo good!

Miracle 1: Dad's pet scan turned out well. He's cancer free. Although its a constant battle and regular check-ups are inevitable, for now, God has cleared his path.

Miracle 2: After about 5 years of being married, one of my favorite cousins and couple, Gabi and April Alcantara are finally going to have a baby! April told us that the main thought of her prayer was that after all the sharing and testifying to people of God's love, having a baby would bring more glory to our Heavenly Father even more. And that's the thought the Holy Spirit put into her heart, thus encouraging her to pray more down that train of thought. And now here you have it. Congrats!!! For sure, you will both make a great mommy and daddy.

Miracle 3: First time in our almost 23 years of exsistence have we been able to sell 15,500+ bags of cement in 1 day! Its a fluke but WOW!

Thank you, Lord. Keeping my eyes on you.

Resimay --- funny!

Manang Vivette sent this email. Too funny!

To hoom it mae cunsern, I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper. I can Type realee quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.. I think I am good on the phone and I no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well. Certain men and all the ladies. I no my spelling is not to good but fi nd that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety.
My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth, I can start emeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr. Sinseerly, BRYAN PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me.

Employer's response:
Dear Bryan,
It's OK honey, we've got spell check. See you Monday.