Feeling the squeeze

I just have to ask, whatever happened to the days wherein people were satisfied with their performance rather than how much they can get out of it? People have no sense of pride anymore. Whoever can give the lowest price or biggest return, even if it means substandard means to get to the finish, that whoever gets it! Its so infuriating! Here I am trying to set a standard in which I can be proud of and not swindling anyone in the process and I always seem to get the short end of the stick.

The year is about to end and I still have so many things to work out. I pray for the new year, among the long list of other things, that God grant me His insight into the situations that face me. My own perception can only bring me as far. I need help. His help. Help!

Prince Charming in the making

And then the princess is whisked off into the sunset by her Prince Charming. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

Its the same formula, right? Princess is in trouble, rescued by her Prince and problem solved. Her life is perfect from then on. Rrrrrriiiiiiggghhhhttt...

When we were 5, this was the dream. When we finally meet a lot of toads, the story changes in more ways than one. Things that fairytales leave out, from my point of view:

1) We've heard this one before: you have to kiss (or meet) a whole lotta frogs before you can even get to your "prince".

2) More often then none, its not happily ever after. No castles or mice to help you out.

3) Some of us take longer than others to find their prince. Some princes took the wrong turn or messing with the evil stepsister in the meantime. Grrr...

4) You end up with mostly Gastons. No wonder Belle opted for the Beast. The Beast was more bearable. You know the type.

5) Romeo and Juliet is more close to reality, I guess. And it wasn't made out to be a fairy tale.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not being negative. i just like to poke fun at the situation. No sense in trying to mope around about it. I'm more than happy being in the relationship that I am finally in. Hence, I go back to the way we were raised. Fairy tales were all we knew back then. Disney made a whole lot of cash in the development of little girls and gays.

But finally being in the real world, you can only hope and pray for such a relationship. But 100% not gonna happen in the way you always dreamed it would be. But we keep on dreaming. Thats how we form our "standards", I think. We shape the guy we want to end up with based on how we, as children, found attractive and perceived a real man should be.

More often than none, I learned that Prince Charmings are not found as Prince Charmings already. Some still have to change into someone's Prince Charming. Funny how reality is.

You will be missed, Mark

Mark Vincent Gan, born 1979, died 2009. He was 30 years old.

I can't recall how Mark and I really got to know each other but we had a lot of common friends. He was close to my college friends and my cousins and would occassionally run in to him from time to time.

He and his family came over to Roxas a few years ago to hold a special service in our church. Since then we would text more often and update each other on just about anything we could think of at the moment. I would be cooking something and telling him about it and he would proudly talk about his blueberry cheesecake.

He would talk about his days as a medical student, then his duties until he was about to take the board exam. Can't recall if that was about the last time we texted or was it last year when he updated me on an ex boyfriend's wedding (they were friends, too).

All in all, everybody agrees that he was a great guy. A genuine good guy who will be greatly missed. Gone too soon. It shocked me when we found out last Dec 8. Almost like it was happening to somebody else and it doesn't hit you directly for a while because the concept is just too far fetched.

He was laid to rest today. I know he had faith and he knew who his Lord and Saviour is. Though we are sad, he is where he belongs. Where he will always be loved and at peace. He could have made a great doctor.

Exhaling

I remember the movie, "Waiting to Exhale" by Whitney Houston years ago. The point of the theme song of the same title was that even when you have all these bad things happening all around you, you inevitably, in one time or another get to the point after holding so much in, you get to exhale.

I guess yesterday was one of those days. As crappy as it was, I got a good ending out of it. I know what I can and cannot do (most of the time) at this point in my life. Some things have just gone past their prime and I'm ready to settle myself into a more different way. Its sad in a way that I never got to progress as I have hoped, but life moves on and so must I. Lets just say that the experience yesterday has put a very bitter taste in my mouth, so to speak.

But I had a glorious finish. Totally different from the bangungot that I had. I'm just glad I'm out of the foxhole. I guess, I'm referring to myself as being attached na. Its really a relief. Just the mere thought of myself going back into the single scene... makes my head and heart hurt just reliving it again. Just very thankful for where I am at this moment and that I get to do and share so many things for the first time. I'm happy.

So shoop shoop shoop shoo be doop! :D

"If you carefully observe all these commands I am giving you to follow - to love the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways and to hold fast to him - then the Lord will drive out all these nations before you, and you will dispossess nations larger and stronger than you. Every place where you set your foot will be yours. Your territory will extend from the desert to Lebanon, and from the Euphrates River to the western sea. No man will be able to stand against you. The Lord your God, as he promised you, will put terror and fear of you on the whole land, wherever you go."

- Deu. 11:22-25

I'm going to be 30 soon and life is never going to go back to simple again, as much as I hope it would be at some point. Work in itself is already a reality. I used to be able to just step aside in the shadows and echo the things my dad would say and do, my actions holding no immediate or dire consequence to anyone. "Oooops" doesn't work as well anymore. I say "Oooppss" and other people are dragged along with me. My common sense brings them up with me, my pagka lipong, down.

Its verses like this that gives me hope and strength. I know all my efforts can never bring me to the level I dream of. Its all God's work. It has become clear, how God can manipulate things to our favor. Despite our wrong choices, he already opened door/s that will give you a more graceful exit into something, sometimes not what you would expect, but a place that is more secure.

So onwards to new territorries, more headaches and more lessons I know I will look back on and laugh, someday.

Still so wonderfully surprised...

It is still a shock but so happy this is happening. Christian has found his match and it took him quite a while. But he found her. So happy for my cousin.

http://animoto.com/play/2mpG0fpQy0gEIw0c3rWFvw?utm_campaign=share_email&utm_medium=email&utm_source=share_email

Thanks to Larissa for this link.

Happy 1st Birthday Rafa!

Rafa turns 1! The party was a big success with baby Popeye all over. Molo's garden is definitely for all occassions. Congratulations to David and San2 on their very first kids party, too!

I want this...

I saw this and fell in love with it. A bit of a color change for my room which is mainly made up of autumn colors. But its worth it. I just love the pattern. This is by Daphne Osena's collection for SM's Our Home. Definitely gonna drop by SM City this weekend! Gonna keep my fingers crossed. Ain't it purrrtyyy?

Green Days with Tito Larry

Tito Larry declared his intentions of running for Iloilo City's mayor last Friday, Nov 13 (yes, on Friday the 13th!). What a day! This election jsut keeps on sprouting up surprises, thats for sure. David is also running so its really going to be a family affair.

So a lot of prayers for both Tito Larry and David in the next few months. For those who live in Iloilo who read my blog.... Please vote for both :D Pretty, pretty please hehehe

Go, Tito!

Who? ME?

Never in my wildest of imaginations could I have ever predicted what happened yesterday. Ok, let me start by what actually took place before I ramble about my own thoughts and "feelings". Carrries more drama, I think.

A couple of people were trying to talk me into running as councilor in next year's elections. I'm pretty happy where I am and the thought of me in that field has never been a dream or distant fantasy. Anyways, thinking it would only be up to that level, I naturally shrugged it off and went on with my day/s.

But last night I got messages from Matty and Powell that they were actually talking about me in the LP meeting taking place with Tita Judy at their house in Baybay. Then Tita Judy actually calls my dad to ask him if we would be part of the lineup. Of course, my dad knows how I feel so he explained that we are private people and our days are already filled with too much work and were only more focused in doing work for God. It is true so they talked a bit more. The other were still texting me. That even after their conversation they were still talking about me!

My ego was swelling like a balloon last night! Completely flattered, honored and at the same time humbled (this going hand in hand with my swelled ego). Although I know I don't have the "gift" for public service, like in everything, it is a big compliment to be invited and have the option of turning it down rather than pushing yourself into it without anybody asking you to join them. So that's that. I can dream about turning it down over and over. At least someday, when I am old and gray, I can say that I was asked to run in 2010 but Lola Cristy turned it down. Naks!

2010 is already jam packed for our family anyways. Have Tito Larry running for Mayor. David running for councilor, too. Tito Nonoy running for Mayor again in Sipalay. Hello! Too much in one basket, don't you think? And besides, public service doesn't mean actual service. We all get to serve one way or another in our own ways. Personally, I like helping out annonymously, anyways.