A moment of stillness and prayer

Dear God, this year has been tremendous. Beyond what I could every hope and dream of. It is your hand that has moved all things into being and here I am standing before you with such joy and happiness and love.

I fall and I stumble and I continue to do so each and every single day. My temper gets the best of me and my impatience is overwhelming. My mistakes are frequent and I often hold on to regrets and what-ifs a bit more than what is needed.

Father God, thank you for being so kind and gentle with me. Your forgiveness is more than I deserve but I continue to yearn for it knowing that in my stupidity You still have your reasons why You love me.

My prayer for this year is that in my journey through this life, I will always hang on to You as my one true hope. That all the things I pray and beg for will come to pass in Your right time and in Your right way. My ways are far from Yours and I dare not even challenge your wisdom, Oh God. Do as You will, my Father. Let me have your patience as I wait for my prayers. Let me have the strength and the courage at the right time and not be too strong willed when it is not the time yet. You know my heart, Lord and I do get stubborn for Your sake. But even then, that is not Your way. The thing I pray for the most is all because of my love for You. And You know my heart, Lord.

I pray for my daughter. May she love you with her whole heart and may she see how awesome and marvelous You are. Tears come to me as I recall your kindness and generosity towards me all these years. How you have held me close even during the times when I felt alone. May it be the same for her as well. I will do my best to raise her in Your ways Lord. That has been my vow from the beginning and it will be so until I take my last breath.

2012 holds so much already. I take each step with you before me, Lord. Let me not take a step without you. Hold my hand still, Lord, as I go by my days.

Thank you for the blessings, the healing and the hope that you provide. In your hands once more. May I make you proud.

In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Counting down to 2012!

Time for the annual list of New Year resolutions! Probably a reminder of what should and should not have been done during the previous year. But it is fun to look back at my previous resolutions. Thankful I've actuall improved somewhat.

1) More quality time with Dani and Bryan. Making family work and making things more meaningful, so to speak. Having a baby and still adjusting to living away from home, sometimes I find myself so sleepy and tired that its hard to appreciate and make the best out of the moment.

2) Reread the Bible again this year. Its been a while and this is probably my 3rd or 4th go. Its never enough as long as there is breathe in me. No more excuses.

3) try to read more in general. Not to mention I just discovered Audible.com for the lazy bum in me. Wuhu!

4) seriously have a healthier lifestyle. Watch my diet and EXERCISE! This is so cliché but it is such a big resolution if none of the shirts I have fit and my belly button starts showing. That fad was left in the 80s. Moving on!

5) More me time which equals pampering and making myself look more like a lady than a frumpy bag of ugh!

Surprisingly, I can only think of 5 right now. Maybe in the next few days I get to add to this list.

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My first Noche Buena spread

Stuffed baked chicken (actually practised this 2x beforehand).


Steak and mixed veggies made by moi! Paella by HDR.

Im just proud my cooking didn't come out as one big flop!

Its not yet over. We can still make a difference.

In closing the year 2011

Obviously its been one big ride of a year, 2011. Barely a few days left and it still keeps coming up with new and exciting ways to make my jaw drop. A blessed year indeed and looking forward to the new chapter that is 2012.

Top 10 high moments to remember for 2011:
1) My baby Danielle Beatrice is obviously my top highlight.
2) My brother and his long time love, Vicky got hitched in beautiful Boracay with family and great friends in attendance despite the nasty weather.
3) My brother and Vicky's expecting a baby boy!
4) Despite all the health situations our family faced, His face shines brightly and His healing is always near. Praising God that my father is doing so much better.
5) Rediscovering amazing friends who were with me through the last phases of my pregnancy. Their support and encouragement were with me all the way.
6) Special moments with me and Dani each day. A miracle to behold and I am still speechless with gratefulness.
7) Seeing Dani and Bryan together. Is there anything more simple and profound? A father and daughter together.
8) On the business side, it has been a lot of highs despite having some lows. But again, God provides and He has brought me to places my little puny, scatter brain could never would have dreamed of. Reaching new horizons and pushing forward with God's hand.
9) Trips with Bryan and Dani have been so fun and exciting. Its still a new experience for me and definitely relishing every single moment of it.
10) Finding out that Michael and Tina are getting married next year! I am so excited. Love these two dearly and wishing them all the joy and happiness they can dream of.

I prefer to look at the positive rather than the negatives. Life is so full of bad vibes to begin with. Time to look at the horizon and see whats before us rather than looking back and stumbling all over the place.

Hmmm... Time to get my resolutions in order.

Saved Festival 2011

Since I started my life as a married woman, being alone in my faith was a reality I knew I would face. It would be my challenge and it is probably my biggest frustration to date. As much as I love my husband, more so do I love my God. But making God real in the life of this family is like waiting for a bus to get going and no one seems to be coming along for the ride.

Last weekend was a weekend of worry. God knows I worry so much and impatient at the same time. So when Ana and April invited me to the Saved Festival 2011 at the Smart Araneta Coliseum, it was exactly what I needed.

The moment I walked in, I was surrounded by my own kind and the energy was electrifying. My hair was standing on ends. You knew the Spirit was strong and the fire of the Lord burns intensely in the hearts of so many. To see all those young people, God's army is alive and strong. What a time to live in!

Fully recharged and free to sing my heart out. God be glorified!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWM0CuVB5_0&feature=youtube_gdata_player



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Called to understand

Romans 14:13
"Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister."

Living by God’s right standards, living to be a peacemaker, and living to be a source of joy in our relationships are what kingdom life is all about. And, when we live like this, our lives please God and bless others
- from Our Daily Bread


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Home

Home is definitely where the heart is. Sometimes I wish I never left. But I have to get used to this reality. My life is now a constant back and forth motion between two loves.


Coming home with Dani is an outer body experience is some points. Seeing Dani on the same bed I grew up and slept in, dreaming of my Prince and the children I would have with him. What a happy ending!


Dad is looking a bit haggard. Im worried. His eyes are dark and he looks tired. Lord God, give him your strength to go with His courage.


Its times like these that I will treaure and remember for all my life.


My dad is turning 62 tomorrow. I'm glaf he can be here for Dani. You can see it in his eyes. So much gentleness, love and awe. If I could freeze it all and keep it close always.


I love being home.



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Remembering...

Its the first time I'm actually in Iloilo for this time of year. Can't remember when I was actually here for All Soul's Day.

First time in Tanza Chinese Cemetery. Lots of incense. Lots of smoke. Its a learning process. Started out at 9am.

Headed for Garden of the Ascension but apparently the family are running late so we ended up heading to Forest Lake.

It amazes me how intricate the cemeteries are here!

Seeing family at Christ the King was wonderful. Not to mention a good portion of David's spareribs. Still as good as I remember them! 😍 Unfortunately, it shocked me it was P80 now! Hhwwaat?!

Hot, smokey, sticky, itchy... It was a good day. 😊

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Thank you, Steve Jobs

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything--all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure--these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important."

~ Steve Jobs

With my Iphone, Ipad and Macbook by my side, thank you, Steve, for making life easier and beyond our expectations. You will truly be missed but will always be remembered.

She is for you, Father God.

Sept 3, 2011 (Saturday) at 10:30am

We dedicated Danielle Beatrice to the Lord, as it was in His Word. Praying that God will be her strength when she is down, her triumph in her accomplishments, her might when she is weak and her heart's foremost and utmost desire all the days of her life.

I offer her up to you, Lord. What I have in abundance comes from you. She is Your ultimate gift in my life. Thank you, Lord God.

On friends and growing up

Call me sentimental. Call me sensitive. But one thing I have that I will always be proud of is loyalty. And it gets to me how some people take it so lightly. Like many others, my weakness is I give too much when the oer parties barely reciprocate. i was never one to judge or count but I do have my limits.

And herr I am at a crossroad. Saying goodbye to around 2 decades of friendship. i depart without any regrets. I gave what I could to the bestbof my abilities. It just has become clear that maybe I did expect a lot and I let my emotions take the best of me.

I am grateful with the fact that at the demise of some friendships, real friends were around me all along. So I am not alone. As I reflect on it further, I really won't loose anythgin since I didn't really gain anything to begin with.

How can I even begin to think of complaining? I got be the best treasure of all.

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Raindrops and the like

Certainly has changed a lot here. Where do I start?

From 1pm-6pm I have my daughter, Dani with me in our room while the nanny gets her much needed sleep. Some days Dani is as timid as a butterfly, some days she's more like a banshee. Its a lotta love with a bit of pain! My arm, back and leg muscles are killing me at the moment. Aaahhh... Motherhood.

Quite stormy these past weeks but I welcome it. Relieves the stress and gives light to more serene moments and thoughts.

Mommy... I guess it will hit me even more when she finally says it.

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Bookworm alert

My brother finally hooked me up with a kindle application on my ipad and finally had some time yesterday to browse on some reading. Came upon this book and was intrigued by the reviews and synopsis. Remembering, that I was at most a "Sweet Dreams" kinda girl way back when. Always kept my reading materials wholesome. Funny that I actually realized, I'm 31, married with a child and my choices of ooks, especially in the fiction genre more or less hasn't evolved accordingly.

Loved this book, Faiking It! Yes, its somehow as you interpret the title to be so but it takes it into another level entirely. Concepts on love, intimacy, self confidence, opening yourself up to a better you, lives unexplored... Their conversations are fascinatingly refreshing! It ends in a way that does neatky tie things tigether but still have that voice squeaking inside you, secretly wanting more. That somehow a sequel would be done.

I give this book two thumbs up!

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So this is how it feels

9 months of being pregnant, it was just me and the planet I felt I was carrying around with me in my tummy. A few kicks and here and there were just like the intro. Kinda telling you that something special was brewing but nothing beats the feeling of seeing your baby for the very first time.

After a very twisting process of delivering, there she was. For months I often wondered what she would look like. Then I see her and I see so much of her father in her.

Motherhood didn't sink in immediately but as soon as I saw and held her, the thought that she was yours was like a realization unlike any other. Nothing can describe it and I cant believe how other mothers can relay the feeling so nonchalantly. This moment literally rocked my whole world! In something so small life can have new meaning and direction.

Can anything else top this feeling? Hmmm... I'll get back to you on that.


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Location:Home

June 14, 2011

I'm a mom! Unbelievable... She is finally here...




Danielle Beatrice. "Dani". Could you be any more perfect. God is amazing. He exceeded all my hopes and expectations. You're mine. I'm falling hard each day.

Scared, anxious, unsure... You certainly know how to take me on a wild ride. I've never been happier.


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For moments like these...

Wish list checked

Stil can't believe I didn't travel anywhere when I was pregnant and then I leave to a trip of a lifetime for my brother's big day on my 35th-36th week! I would never have guessed it a few years ago! And I didnt feel a thing!

To make it even more amazing, I got to do other things that I liked to do in Boracay!



Got to do Jonah's for their awesome shakes. They didnt have strawberry (my favorite) but liked the tropical fruit shake, too. Mmmm....




Calamansi muffins by Real Coffee. Oh so moist and citrusy. Thumbs up, up, up!

Did I mention, we walked from D'Mall back to Discovery! Baby in the bun and boty of us doing just fine!




Caught an almost sunset, too. Sitting there with Bryan, Gabby, April and Tito Nick. What could be better?

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Prayer Answered

I was praying for so long. Dear God, let me go to my brother's wedding. God heard my heart and granted me this wish. After 5-6 hours of land travel (we had to go slow since I am 35-36 weeks in already), boat ride and supporter in place (thank you, Lesley!)... TAHDAH! Hello Discovery Boracay! I made it! Didn't feel a thing at all! This was all You, Lord!

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Going a bit fruity

Lumboy season! Nothing like abuelita's lumboy tree. Soft, juicy and plump. Sprinkke a bit of rock salt, refrigerate and u have purple heaven in a tupperware.



Whenever there is lumboy, there is sarguelas/siniguelas. Dip in a bit of rock salt. I rarely met a sarguelas I didn't like.

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God's Cake

An email sent by Tita Geline:

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did God have to do this to me?" Here is a wonderful explanation! A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.

Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake."

"Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers.
"Yuck" says her daughter.
"How about a couple raw eggs?" "Gross, Mom!"
"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"
"Mom, those are all yucky!"

To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake! "

God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.
Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.

If you like this, send this on to the people you really care about.


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I guess its official! I am now part of the Mother statistic! Its sooo surreal! A lot of people actually greeted me, too. And to think I have two months left. Talk about prepping me for the life ahead! Number one perk that I realized? I get freebies and discounts! How cool is that? Hmmm.. I could get used to this!

Belated happy mother's day to all the mamas and the papas in mama's shoes out there!

Yum

Don't you just love hot native chicken binakol with real coconut juice and bits? Light and hits the spot right there.

Had this at Pavia Seafood Place. A friend of Bryan's owns the place and I think its worth a stop or more :) Prices are pretty much worth the travel time.

Dog days

This is Abby, my cousin's newest addition to their family. She's the granddaughter of my late pugs, Siobe and Buknoy (my brother's name idea). Gosh I miss pugs! She wanted to give it to me but knowing how she is so attached to the father, Louie, might as well have her first. I get dibs in the next litter. Its just so hard when you're so into them already. Can't bear her going through the same thing.

Isn't she so precious?

In the meantime, have to settle with this one. A bit on the moody side but he just melts our hearts. He's particularly fond of Bryan. He knows where his food is coming from, obviously. Prince is such a quintessential lap dog. He likes to be hugged and snuggled.

laugh along

These guys are like my version of my Barney. Always tons of fan and always good for a laugh!

Wishing Jing was there with us though. Had an empty seat all set up for her. Our love to New York.

twins talking to each other

Walking back to my childhood with these guys...

http://omg.yahoo.com/blogs/now/stand-by-me-cast-reunites-25-years-later/52

On a quiet Sunday morning

Gotta love moments like these. Obviously, Bryan is his favorite :) Love a guy who loves dogs. Loving Instagram, too! A whole to of love going on today.

Eyes On Japan

8.9 earthquake, crippling tsunami, nuclear threat... Do what we can where we can to help. Keep praying and hoping.

March 5, 2011 : Hello, Baby Girl

Isn't 3d a wonder in itself?

Finally got to see our baby again, today. Surprised to see it this well developed and healthy compared to the last time we saw it. An even bigger surprise, God's most precious gift wrapped in a tidy little pink bow. Hello, baby girl!

She looked so calm and peaceful. My heart leaped when we saw her smile twice! It was like she knew we were watching and that it was more than just mommy and daddy there. What made it even more precious was that when the doctor said, "Abaw! Kabalo na siya mag pray!" (Wow! She already knows how to pray). Her hands were, indeed, clasped together as we do when we pray. How cool is that? She gets that from me! ;-)

Almost 3 more months left and still have so much to do. Better get a move on before I get too big.

Her picture is not that complete as it will be in a few months. Her fat cells aren't up to speed as of yet but she will get there, according to Dr. Palmares.

Words cannot express how excited we all are. Imagine! No pink for her though. Mommy (thats me) detests pink. Yellow and pastels are more my thing for her.

Forgiving but not forgetting. Lessons from EDSA.

Feb. 22-25, 1986... A time that will live on in Philippine history and one I was honored to have seen a glimpse of, even though I was about 5 years old back then.

It was a time of great suffering, oppression, strength and victory. Most importantly, it stood for the character of the Filipino. We overthrew a government with prayers and faith then. From different walks of life, we moved with one stride.

I could still recall the look on my father's face back then and how during the latter days we were sent to Dallas in the event that things would get even worse. But until now, I firmly hang on to the same values my father and my family had then. Standing up for what itsright and fighting for the bigger victory.

25 years later and we finally have an Aquino back in the reigns. People hang on to the promise of hope and the continued vision of a new Philippines. One that should have happened then but continue to hope for until this present day. We all have our opinions and I certainly have mine.

But what does bother me to no end is the idea that Marcos be buried in the Libingan Ng Mga Bayani. Like many others I have to gravely disagree. Yes, we must forgive, and I laud P-Noy for forgiving the man who had his father assassinated and threatened his own life as well. But to forget holds much deeper measure than meets the eye and it is more than just mere politics.

Allowing Marcos to do so would be a tremendous insult to those who not only risked their lives and ultimately for those who really lost it for the pursuit of freedom. They believed it to be true and fought for it with their whole selves. 25 years later, its okay?

For those who were not yet born during EDSA, it has become one of those reasons for suspension of classes, a highway and another date to remember for the history exams. By allowing such a move would give the impression that well, it could be easily forgiven after all. It was not that big a deal. Would Marcos' burst into flames if it weren't burried there? Marcos should be burried in his home, like the rest of us common folk. Yes, he was a good leader but for those who suffered so much and lost more, it does not matter. Hitler, Kim Jong Il, Saddam, Bin Laden are morbidly good leaders to have those many people follow in their causes. Brilliant as they were, you don't see any of their native countries burrying them as heroes!

But then again, this is just me and the voice that I project. Though anyone not hear me or otherwise, I don't know if it will make the difference. Its just sad. Might as well bury everything else that EDSA stood for along with Marcos.

Valentines is in the air

Ahhh.. love... Young love, first love, greatest love, last love, tragic love. Whatever it is, it can get pretty contagious and messy at times. But when you're swept up in all its glory... Hayayay!

During my childish and fantasy filled days, romantic days like this should be on a deserted beach, walking by sunset. Flowers filling a room. Carriage rides. Fireworks. All the components to a very cheesy Hollywood movie.

But we eat it all up like chocolate. But we have to grow up and smell reality at some point. Yes, for some, we may get just that, but the question is, is it genuine? Is it really from the heart?

I used to be such an Anti-Valentines person. Purposely so. I was single for most of the Valentines Days of my life. I finally had my best Valentines Day last year, when Bryan proposed, minus the fireworks, the candles and whatever. But I wouldn't have changed it for anything else in the world.

Happy Valentines Day, everybody.

Giving my baby a plus

Its amazing how technology has come into play even during the earliest stages of our lives. It was an amazing breakthrough back then when we were told that talking or singing or playing classical music to the child while it was still in the womb would help significantly in its development during its life outside the womb.

Now, we have Baby plus. Strangely, its just a series of beating sounds that goes on for about an hour. But its supposed to do so much for the child.

For those curious moms-to-be out there, the site is http://www.babyplus.com/

Special thanks goes to Margaret for lending me her unit. Now I just have to find time every 1 and 9pm to do this and it takes an hour per session.

The little one has been kicking up a storm these past few days. Thank God for this miracle.

On crossing over...

Just heard the news today that one of my favorite characters in the show, "Touched By An Angel" passed away recently at a young age of 47.

I used to "chase" the Hallmark channel just for this show. I even pleaded with my dad to subscribe to another cable network just for Hallmark and this was the only show I watched!

It was a few years after I graduated college and this show really inspired me in more ways that one.

John Dye played the Angel of Death on the show. And for the first time ever, Death was not as scary, ghoulish or psychopathic as it was portrayed before and even until now. He was kind, gentle and calm. Although the series was a work of writers and their imagination and experiences, it is a truly wonderful truth about Death. For those who have their hope and faith, it is not something to be feared but embraced. It only means that you are going to a better place. A place that has no bounds, no illnesses or hate. Only love and overflowing joy. So whats so bad about that?

To John Dye, you will be missed. So here's to the wonderful lessons and memories.

3 lessons learned over Sunday Lunch

1) To have more patience for those who know no better. Believe me, they come in droves!

2) To be grateful under any circumstance. Remember, it could always be worse.

3) Always treat people with consideration and respect. You could be in their situation someday.

It really gets you to a deep place when you spend a little time with people who fail in all 3. Honestly, I had a splitting headache and I wasn't paying them any attention anymore. But its hard to "ignore" them when you're in a private room for lunch. Egads! Hope we have a break from these people for a while.